Jokes, Anecdotes and Situations

Posted on 19 Mar 2023 @ 5:19am by Lieutenant JG Lisald Vaat
Edited on on 19 Mar 2023 @ 5:24am

766 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Outbreak
Timeline: Some time after "Mending Friendships"

ON:


Vaat and Veenak were doubled over in stitches, barely able to breathe, their eyes watering and unable to make little more than squeaks and the occasional gasp. Only Jin'Tok was immune.

For the better part of an hour, the quartet had been swapping funny jokes, anecdotes and situations that were nothing short of hilarious, and the joke that Roberts had just told had tickled the Bajoran and the Romulan to no end. Jin'Tok finally had enough. "I do not see what is so funny. A targ would never react that way," he said.

Alan Roberts shook his head, smiling at the effect he had on Lisald and Veenak, and also because the Klingon had missed the point of the punchline by roughly one astronomical unit. "That is why it is funny, Turtle-head."

The laughter renewed in earnest between the three non-Klingons.

At long last, after he was finally able to speak, it was Lisald's turn. Instead of telling funny jokes about the Captain and the rest of the Senior Staff (and boy did he have a lot, especially about Dr. Elodin) he attempted a joke. "Ok guys, have you heard about the Cardassian who tried to join Starfleet?"

Instantly, the laughter stopped, and his three compatriots were focused on him, rapt with attention. Alan Roberts responded. "No, I haven't. What happened," he asked, at this point thinking it was a real story, as that is what Lisald had been going with.

"This cannot be good," Jin'Tok stated. "Cardassians are not to be trusted," he said, his voice dropping deeper, the gravely nature of his voice coming through in sharp contrast to the Human.

Veenak piped up. "Oh stop it," she playfully admonished the Klingon, slapping his shoulder with the back of her hand. Looking back to Vaat, she said, "Come on. Let's hear it. What happened?"

"Ok, so the way I heard it," Lisald began, "was that this Cardassian goes to Starfleet Academy and is actually doing quite well in his classes, which I suppose is to be expected, given the nature of the Cardassian brain and their near-eidetic memory. Anyways," he continues, waving his hand in the air, dismissing the joke was starting to get off track, "He is doing well until he gets to the simulation where they have to rescue hostages from the Borg cube. Do you guys remember that simulation?"

"I do. It did not go well for me. I got assimilated within two minutes of being on that cube, and it was a damned freaky place. Everything was so....green," Veenak said, shuttering.

"I remember it too," Jin'Tok said, his chest puffing out. "It was a glorious battle. My team and I killed several hundred drones before we were able to tap into the self-destruct mode and destroy the cube. If it were not a simulation, my people would be singing songs about us now."

Veenak frowned at her Klingon friend. "The point was to rescue the hostages."

"We did," he said. "They were liberated at the Gates of Sto'Vo'Kor!"

"Oh my god," Veenak and Roberts said in unison, then laughed. Once the laugh was over, Roberts looked back to Vaat. "And?"

"Well, he decided, instead of trying to rescue them and being assimilated," pointing decidedly at Veenak, "Or going in with their Bat'leth's swinging," motioning with his chin to Jin'Tok, "He decided to negotiate with the Borg instead of fighting them. He told them, 'Hey, we're all just trying to live in this galaxy. Can't we work something out?'"

Jin'Tok snorted. "That is the dumbest thing I have heard all day, and we just listened to Alan talk about targs. Cardassians trying to negotiate with the Borg."

The Romulan female spoke up. "I have to admit, that is pretty funny," she said, coming to the defense of her Bajoran friend, the realization that it was a joke coming to her before it did her Human friend, and long before her Klingon friend.

"I guess we can add negotiating with the Borg to the list of things Cardassians are not good at," Roberts said, and laughed, causing Lisald, Jin'Tok and Veenak to laugh.

"Exactly," Lisald said. "But you know what they are good at?"

"Deception?" Jin'Tok interrupted.

Ignoring him, Lisald continued. "Telling jokes about themselves! Have you heard the one about the Cardassian who walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder?"

Jin'Tok groaned. "No, but I have a feeling I'm about to."

Laughing, Veenak responded, "I can't wait to hear this one."



OFF


Lieutenant junior grade Lisald Vaat
Science Divison
USS Cygnus

 

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