Guilt and responsibility

Posted on 08 Nov 2023 @ 9:21pm by Captain Erik Larsen & Lieutenant JG Christina Hartley

1,094 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Outbreak
Location: Ready Room

Christina made her way to the bridge, holding a report, trying to fight back the tears she felt, her heart heavy. She had done everything to figure out what had happened, and how it could have happened on her watch.

As she reached the bridge, she saw Commander Larsen in the centre seat. "Commander, may I... may I speak to you in private?" Christina asked.

From the second she entered the Bridge, Erik Larsen could tell that Lieutenant Hartley was letting something bother her. And the Chief Engineer was normally unflappable. “Of course, Lieutenant,” he said calmly and gestured toward the starboard side. “Let’s go to the conference lounge. Mister Spangler, you have the Conn.”

The tall, slender Executive Officer quickly got up from the center seat and entered the unoccupied lounge. “What’s on your mind, Lieutenant?” he asked pointedly.

"Everything lately, sir," Christina replied. "I... I'd like to request that after we're finished here, we pull into dock for a complete check. After that... I'm willing to offer my resignation. This whole thing with the virus... it's my fault," Christina said softly, tears welling up in her eyes.

“No,” he said emphatically…perhaps a bit more forcefully than intended. “We are not doing the blame game right now, Lieutenant Hartley. Yes, we brought this to Antioch…but right now we need to focus on what we can do to help these people before their entire civilization collapses.”

"I can't do much about the medical side... but this started because I screwed up. The biofilter should have flagged as being malfunctioning, and I failed to notice it. I spotted a problem with the deflector dish because of a different system, but I missed this. I'm the chief engineer," Christina said. "I just... I should have known something was wrong, and I need to make sure this can't happen again."

“You’re not the only person whose ass is on the firing line,” said Larsen, leaning against the bulkhead near the window. “As the supervising officer of everyone on this vessel except the Captain, seeing to it that you are doing your job is literally my job description.” He sighed heavily. “Look, Christina, I know you feel a certain degree of responsibility. Which is why I need you on task right now…we can figure this out.”

"I've already got the bio filters replaced, I did that myself before coming up here," Christina said. "If it was on a small scale, I'd say we could use the transporters to clear the virus from people, but, I do have a report on what was let through," she said, handing the PaDD to Larsen.

The XO took the offered data storage tablet and examined the contents. “Rhinitis?!? This civilization has been brought to its knees by the common cold? That disease is an inconvenience at worst…which the Antiochans have no immunity to.” He tossed the PaDD onto the lounge table. “Shit.”

Christina nodded. "I should have known the bio filter needed replacing. I'm the chief engineer; I need to know every damned bolt of this ship! I helped design the refits, and I replaced a lot of the shield grid before we got here, and now thanks to a fuck up, a common cold has killed innocent people," Christina said weakly.

“Hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it?” said Erik with a nervous chuckle. “With the bio filters replaced and reset, it would only be a matter of finding a way to put their patterns en masse through the bio filter. It would take months to do one by one, and by the time that’s completed it might be too late.”

"Which means this isn't something I can do anything else with," Christina said. "At least the medical teams have a direction to look in, but once we're done, I want to scan every deck bit by bit, every system, running every diagnostic I can think of, because I can't ever let this happen again. I... I failed again..." Christina said weakly, tears falling gently down her face.

“You do what needs to be done to ensure that our systems are properly maintained, Chief. Once he returns from the surface, I will be ordering Lieutenant Bast and his Operations team to work hand-in-hand with yours to prevent any other maintenance lapses.” Larsen sighed softly. “This is more an opportunity for you than a failure, Lieutenant. Yes, mistakes were made…but how we respond to them and deal with their aftermath is just as important as correcting the error itself. Clear?”

Christina looked at him. "With all due respect sir, how can I see this as any kind of opportunity? People are dead because of something that shouldn't have happened, and I've... I've been trying to make up for other mistakes, but this... it hurts a lot," she admitted.

“I know it does, and I wish I could say it was going to get easier. All we can do is accept that certain things are inevitable and that we are not going to win every single game. That is what I meant by opportunity, Christina. Having something go wrong and still continuing to do your duty regardless takes an immense amount of strength of character. So prove to us that you have that character. That you are that person that we can continue to count on because you are a Starfleet Officer.”

Christina nodded, swallowing as she did. "I've already... I've already begun the full diagnostics on every system, and I'm... I'm not resting until we've done it. I won't let this happen again," Christina said, a haunted look on her face. "I just... I was down on the planet before we found out about this. My wife and I, we went down for a family shopping trip, and it was... it was fun, whilst this was going on and we didn't know."

“You had no way of knowing. Try not to feel bad about taking a little family time.”

"I just... I'll accept responsibility, and I'll make sure it can't happen again, but if you can speak to the Captain, so that when we're done here, we can head back to a Starbase," Christina requested.

“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll pass on your recommendation. If there’s nothing further please return to your duties.”

"Yes, sir," Christina replied, nodding. "Thank you," she added, before turning and leaving.




Lieutenant Commander Erik Larsen, PhD
Executive Officer
USS Cygnus

&

Christina Hartley
Chief Engineer
USS Cygnus

 

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