Kindling the Flame

Posted on 17 Jan 2023 @ 9:58pm by Lieutenant JG Lisald Vaat & Lieutenant Commander Raviran Dattek-Winters

2,635 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Outbreak
Location: Ravi's Quarters

ON

Lisald's hand froze a millimeter from the thumb call plate.

He inhaled deeply, or at least attempted to. Mid way through, it caught in his throat. He exhaled, the feeling not quite what he hoped for.

Vaat read the nameplate on the door again. "Ravi Dattek-Winters, M.D., Lieutenant (junior grade)." It was so impersonal. So professional. Yet he could see her face as clear as he could see the words. He could see her smile, and her perfect teeth. He could see the barely-there ridges on her nose, a telltale sign of her Bajoran heritage, perfectly flanked by the muted exo-ridges around her eyes, a telltale sign of her Cardassian heritage. He could see her beautiful eyes, could hear her voice and her laugh. He could feel her warmth.

Vaat tried again. This time, the forever-distance of one-millimeter was finally closed. Inside her quarters, he could hear the chime. He hoped she was home, and hoped she would let him talk to her.

Ravi was indeed 'home' but she had no idea who it might be at her door. She answered it, somewhat scruffy and immediately froze to the spot when she realised who was on the other side.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, trying not to let the panic she felt show in her tone of voice. "Hello Vaat..... " suddenly she was struck with an idea as to why he might have come. It was all that had been on her mind of late.

His leaving.

"Is it t...time already?" she began and then swallowed hard.

"Wait, please come in. I need to just........ if you don't mind, I'd like to tidy myself up. I couldn't bear for the last time we see each other I was looking like a complete wreck. Come in..... come in....." she ushered him in and then pointed to the kitchenette. "Please help yourself to a drink? I won't be long...." and she was gone.

It wasn't toooo long but she was gone a short while. A while that seemed like only seconds to her as she rushed around trying to tidy her hair, and wash her face, change into something that she hadn't been wearing for two days and then throwing herself as fast as she could, back into the main living area, praying he hadn't given up and left.

For Vaat's part, he had tried to say something to her when he first entered (strange, this was his first time in her quarters), but she had done that thing where she talked until she was gone. It was endearing, and Vaat secretly loved it. And so he had waited in the kitchenette awkwardly until she had returned. Upon her return, her face glowed a great deal more, and her hair had been brushed and styled. She had also changed into a very lovely sundress. "You look lovely," he finally said to her. He meant it from the bottom of his heart.

"Thanks" she blushed. "I didn't want your last memory of me to be of the state I was in earlier. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. I imagine you'll have a lot of these visits to do, before you're off....... do you have a formal 'leaving time' yet?" she asked, hoping he would say it wasn't for a day or so.

She wondered if she could hold back from getting emotional. She'd gone to a lot of trouble to make herself look presentable, there was no point in wailing at him and spoiling it all.

Lisald shook his head. "No, you didn't keep me waiting very long at all," he said. He found himself being drawn into her eyes again, and forced himself out. "And no, no time just yet. I talked to Albert...uh...Lieutenant Spangler and to Commander Larsen about my role and position on the ship, and my concerns and fears. They both have given me some fairly decent reasons of staying, but, I'm still on the fence."

Ravi's sad eyes widened and left floor. She'd been trying not to get emotional but this was too much.

"What kind of reasons?" she asked urgently. ".... how good you are at your job? How much everyone likes you here and how many friends you have made who would miss you? - reasons like that?" she sat forward looking intently at him as she waited like a frightened small creature about to bolt away in fear of his response.

Lisald nodded, though Ravi didn't see it. "Yes, things exactly like that. It's just, I'm honestly terrified of getting hurt again. I almost died, Ravi. And for what, exactly?" His words were soft. "Commander Larsen," he said, continuing, "Has recommended I give up my commission, but to stay aboard as a civilian scientist. What do you think about that? It would free me up from the chain of command, and would free me to be able to pursue my science, and other things," he alluded.

Ravi visibly brightened. "Would you consider that?" she asked, hardly daring to breathe. "I mean..... it'd still be a Starship and ... well, if you were a civilian scientist, then ...... and I were a Feddie still.... and......." she ground to a halt, struggling to hold back hope this time, instead of the heartbreak she'd be holding back a few minutes ago.

"Vaat?" she asked hesitantly, looking up at him, her dark eyes shining with moisture and wide with anticipation and confusion. She held up a shaky hand towards his face, her fingers just lightly brushing against his cheek. "Am I misreading how you feel, just because I'm influenced by how I feel?" she went on, moving another step towards him.

Not being brazen enough to just kiss him uninvited she stood waiting for rejection. (or..... a flutter quivered around her heart...... but even in her thoughts she couldn't finish the alternative possibility....).

Without thinking, Vaat responded, more breath than voice, "I don't think so." Vaat leaned in closer, and Ravi too leaned in, angling her face upwards to meet his. Just before they touched, Vaat pulled away sheepishly. He didn't want to ruin anything with a moment of passion. He cared for Ravi, cared for their deep friendship, and really wanted to take it to the next level, but he felt he needed to be on solid ground before he made that particular plunge. "Uh," he said, clearing his throat. "I mean, I am considering it," he said, answering her first question. "I think I have something here worth staying for." He looked into her eyes deeply for a moment. He was falling in love, he thought. "I mean, I have a lot to stay here for," Vaat amended, thinking again, this time with the head on top of his shoulders. He thought of Albert and Lieutenant Commander Larsen. "I will need to talk to Captain Bane, see if it is even possible. I think Commander Larsen is going to put in a good word for me."

Ravi's breath was held for the moments that he leaned in but it caught as he moved away.

"...... and if you can't stay here." she whispered. "Where would you go instead?"

Lisald blinked several times. Suddenly not being allowed to stay was a shock to his system. He was so bent on not wanting to stay that not being allowed to stay didn't ever enter into his mind. Nor did anyone before her mention it, not Spangler, and not Larsen. Not that he blamed them for not saying anything; they probably just didn't think of it, like him. "Honestly, I hope it doesn't come to that. If I go, I want it to be my decision, not a decision that is made for me." He exhaled, then inhaled. "But, if that does happen, I guess I'll go back to Bajor. I am sure I can get on with Central University as a part of the faculty. Although now that I say that, I find that almost as distasteful as not being allowed to stay on the ship." He reached out and cupped her hand into his. He knew he was being forward, but the promise of the almost-kiss a moment ago was still fresh in his mind.

"Could you bear it if I came too? Would that be an imposition? I suppose, looking as I do, it could be something that Bajorans might not respond well to but .... " she trailed off.

Suddenly talking about her very obvious semi-Cardassian looks, Ravi realised that their relationship had never been held back by that... well, Vaat had never been concerned about it..... but he was unusual amongst his race for that.

The Bajorans had good reason for having a 'distaste' (to put it mildly) for Cardassians. A large majority of them had lost relatives or endured suffering (a good deal of it terrible suffering!) at the hands of her father's kind. She did look remarkably Cardassian as it was exoskeletal which was more obvious than the gentler Bajoran features of her mother's and Vaat's heritage.

How was she going to get on actually on Bajor itself, if that was where he would go?

It was all well and good to say she wanted to be with him more than she wanted to stay without him, but that would become a difficult thing for him and such a huge commitment to ask of him.

....and they weren't even dating..... They hadn't even kissed!

Within the doubly-stunned silent moments that he took to reply, she had processed all these thoughts at panic speed and before he could respond she retreated.

"I'm sorry" she said, genuinely. "I shouldn't have said that. I couldn't possibly just burden you like that. We're friends but that's a huge ask of you to saddle yourself with a friend who looks Cardassian and on Bajor it would be an awkward situation for you...... for us both.... I wasn't thinking properly.... I apologise."

She hoped she hadn't damaged their friendship with that tactless suggestion and so feeling the embarrassed, tense moment it seemed to be creating, she moved away a little, averting her eyes so he wouldn't see the sadness this setback to her internal (well, at least if he leaves I could go too, Plan B) was causing her.

A door shut on her metaphorically and it was all becoming harder to see a future for them now she was being realistic about her own suitability as anything more intense than the 'friends zone'.

Her eyes, searching for somewhere else to look other than at him, lit on a reflection in a mirror across the room and the sharpness of her exo-sketetal features glared back at her as if to rub it in.

Now she was beginning to colour, her cheeks burning with the discomfort of not having considered this before making such a forward and thoughtless proposal of attaching her path to his for the foreseeable future, however long or short that might be.

Blushing deeper, the more she dwelt on the whole situation they were now in, Ravi wanted the floor to swallow her up. She might have even run, making excuses, if these hadn't been her quarters.

It was no good. Moments passed and he was about to reply. She had to face him again. It felt like a year had passed but it was barely minutes.

Turning slowly back, glad to no longer be able to see the reflection that had said it all and confirmed her mistake, she looked back up at him again, her cheeks deeply blushed, her eyes moist.

The question she had asked stunned him, and literally put him on his heels, but in a good way. He had not anticipated, at all, that anyone would come with him, least of all her. He suddenly felt very warm in his cheeks and tops of his ears, and in other places not to be mentioned. Then came the apology, then the statement about her heritage and her reservations about it. "First, I am beyond thrilled that you would want to come with me. I'd have to give that some consideration, but rest assured," he said, trying to do just that, to reassure her, "That my first thought an inclination would be a resounding absolutely," he exclaimed. "Second, who gives a pile of Targ shit about your heritage. From my perspective, and I think the perspective of most people on this ship, you are a person first, a woman second, and part Cardassian, or Bajoran for that matter, way down the list. Somewhere around number 47,000, if I had to guess," he teased, hoping she would giggle at it.

His heart was suddenly very full. Could he leave here? He had already talked to his best friend, Albert Spangler, who had talked him into not making any rash decisions, and had talked to Erik Larsen, his boss and friend, who didn't want him to go and was going to bat for him with the Captain. And now looking at Ravi, and her willing to set aside her career in Starfleet to just be close to him, well, all three of those people spoke volumes to him. Maybe he wasn't dead weight after all.

He was sure that his friendship with Albert and Erik would continue long after today, and was beginning to think there was some sort of future with Ravi. What that future entailed, remaining in Starfleet, or just remaining on the Cygnus in a civilian capacity, or leaving altogether and going home to Bajor, he knew that Ravi would be just fine in Medicine wherever she went. Whatever came next, Lisald was curious about it.

Ravi's face was a confused but happy picture. How was it possible that Vaat wasn't bothered about how people on Bajor might react to her heritage and even if they did, it was clear that he wouldn't let that make him unhappy? It was more that she could have hoped for and she was over the moon with the whole response. It WAS what he'd just said.... she was sure she wasn't dreaming... she pincher herself and it hurt. No, she wasn't dreaming but it FELT like she must be..... how could someone as handsome, hot, kind, sweet, generous and good as Vaat actually say he'd be 'beyond thrilled' if she were to ask to go with him. He also said he had several other reasons to stay aboard with his Science work so both ways, she could now see a future relationship together.

The whole thing, coming so soon after she had almost despaired of losing him forever, was overwhelmingly delicious! She wanted to leap around the room with excitement at the thought of what might be to come but at least she didn't go that far, just yet. (she would once he'd left, she promised herself) but for now she just looked at him, soaking up what her eyes, her feelings and her whole instincts were screaming inside her.

"47,000?" she laughed softly, her eyes meeting his and telling him secrets she dared not put into words yet.

"Is that all??" she smiled and then it was all too much. She moved back closer to him and tilted her head upwards, gently at first then with more feeling as her lips met his softly.

He kissed her back, her lips soft and full against his. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and pulled her close, his right arm going around her shoulders. It was a welcome kiss, and felt true and natural and wonderful. It lasted only a moment, maybe two, but was a perfect first kiss. "Well, maybe a hundred and forty-seven thousand," he amended.



A JP by:

Lt (jg) Ravi Winters
ACMO - USS Cygnus

and

Lisald Vaat
Position Pending
USS Cygnus

 

RSS Feed